Saturday, September 29, 2007

I feel good about this week. I mean really good.

QB Matt Shaub HOU - $5.50 ($ 0.17 per point! He's my guy for the duration)
RB Adrian Peterson MIN - $8.42 (All day AP. We all know that every year a couple of rookie
backs have a great season. If he doesnt have a devastating injury like he seemed to have been
plagued with throughout his career at Oklahoma, then he could be an exciting player to watch
on a terrible team. Cap space courtesy of the DEF)
RB Najeh Davenport PIT - $ 6.25 (I was thinking about going with Kenny Watson, but he's
playing NE, and I wouldnt get a chance to mention that he's The Dump Truck)
WR Nate Burleson SEA - $ 5.82
WR Shaun McDonald DET - $ 6.08 (Detroit what, scum!)
WR Roddy White ATL $ 6.36 (Looks like he's Joey Harrington's guy for now. Great.)
TE Jason Whitten DAL $ 7.46 (One of the best TEs this season.... except for Antonio Gates
who will have 150 recs this season)
K Mason Crosby GB $ 7.61 (Cheapest kicker out there, FYI)
DEF New Orleans $ 6.36 (Cant score negative points on a bye!)

Friday, September 21, 2007

Stop me before I write again

If you listened closely enough on Tuesday September 18th at roughly 12:15pm you could actually hear every ounce of sanity fleeing from Greg Easterbrook's body. In case you missed it, the NFL is doomed! DOOMED!!! and its all a certain hooded sweatshirt wearing coaches fault.

In any case, I'm sure that this is all the Jew's fault, right Greg?

The (Week 2) Champ is here!

After doubling his total points, I feel like I have a mental edge over the G-Man now.

M. Schaub (Hou - QB) $ 5.67 - I hate myself for missing him last week when he would have cost 3.50. I deserve it though for trusting Alex Smith. My Stepfather is a 49ers fan and he is so dumbfounded and confused by Alex Smith that he looses the ability to use nouns whenever I bring him up. (Since John also took him, I reserve the right to switch over to Kellen Clemens if he's starting for the Jets this week)

Ad. Peterson (Min - RB) $ 7.12 - Someone in the Vikings organization while looking over Brad Childress' resume should have noticed that the man hasn't produced a home grown WR ever, even though his employers have expended multiple high round draft choices on that particular position. The fact that the Vikings are not running the ball 60 times a game when his current starting QB wouldn't have even been able to lead Notre Dame to anything better then an 0-3 record baffles me.

L. White (Ten - RB) $ 4.71- I really wanted to try to finagle a way to get MoJo in this spot because I think he's as cheap as he's going to be at 11 bucks this week, but have you ever noticed that Jack Del Rio looks like a traumatized lesbian who just watched her partner and the rest of their family unit be brutalized over the span of 4 days? That doesn't bode well for Maurice Jones-Drew. What does this have to do with LenDale White? Absolutely nothing.

W. Welker (NE - WR) $ 5.80- Token Patriot, plus I still don't trust Randy Moss to not have another freak out in traffic.

Ca. Johnson (Det - WR) $ 6.26- In case you didn't know, the Lions are touched by God.

R. Curry (Oak - WR) $ 6.44- Proof positive that Michael Vick would have made for a better RB or WR.

V. Davis (SF - TE) $6.35- Alex Smith is his QB, so unless he breaks a 2 yard check down 50 + yards, I'm getting nothing out of him. That being said, I feel my Stepdad and I need more to talk about, so complete and utter disdain toward Alex Smith is a good place to start.

N. Folk (Dal - K) $7.42- He's the cheapest kicker available and because of that he'll remain on my roster for the rest of the year. I don't care if he dies on the field, if no other kicker in the league drops below his price, he's my guy for the duration.

Washington (Was - DEF) $ 7.58- Why? Because they're better then the Giants D, thats why.

Go face yourself G-Man enjoy your Gansters Paradise.

Welfare FFBall Week 3 (of the season, I know this got started in Week 2)

Well, the Cheap Bastards may have gotten touched up a bit, but we had a good week of practice and our install on Wednesday went well.

As follows is the line up as well as some of the inner-machinations behind the decisions -

QB Matt Schaub HOU - $5.67 (he may not be the prettiest guy at the dance, but he will put out. And he's cheap. Wait - Andre Johnson's not playing? F$#@. Oh well, at least he's cheap.)
RB Brandon Jackson GB - $5.09 (had a bad week last week and some guy named DeShawn Wynn is getting his goal line snaps - which caused him to go up to $40 in our FA Auction in my office leauge. Good times. But Im still sticking with Jackson, Im not one to jump off a leaky ship.)
RB Cedric Benson CHI - $ 6.93 (unless thats Marcell Shipp. Cutting Tavaris Jackson left me with a mess of cap space, so I went out and grabbed Ced. He's going against the 'Boys D who allowed the G-men to run up and down on them in week 1 and have the 26th ranked D in the NFL)
WR Jason Avant PHI - $ 5.54 (No idea who he is, but he averaging a point per $1. Which in the welfare leauges is like getting a beej after taking a date to BK)
WR Calvin Johnson DET - $ 6.26 (Up in value $0.75 over last week!)
WR Antwan Randle El WAS - $ 6.02
TE Jason Whitten DAL - $ 7.46
K Mason Crosby GB - $ 7.61
DEF NY Giants - $ 8.79 (I thought about sticking with the Jets this week, but Im having trouble justifying keeping a DEF that has negative production.)

Til next time, keep your nose to the grindstone...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Team that's going to decimate the G-Man

QB A. Smith (SF - QB) $7.44
RB Ad. Peterson (Min - RB) $7.49
RB B. Jackson (GB - RB) $5.17
WR W. Welker (NE - WR) $5.92
WR Ca. Johnson (Det - WR) $6.26
WR R. Curry (Oak - WR) $7.37
TE E. Johnson (NO - TE) $5.29
K N. Folk (Dal - K) $7.42
DEF Washington (Was - DEF) $7.58
TOTAL: $59.94

Friday, September 14, 2007

Welfare Fantasy Football

On an average day during football season, John and I spend about an hour talking about fantasy football on some level. I can't speak for him, but I would guess that I spend another 2 hours reading or thinking about football that on some level correlates to fantasy football. This normally isn't healthy, but when you sit in an unholy box that is commonly known as a cubicle, I believe its a means to keep us sane.

With this in mind, I had an idea that we should start a league using Yahoo's Salary Cap Fantasy Football but with the twist that we can only spend 6o million of the allotted 100 million that you are given. Thus we would constantly be searching for bargains and conceivably providing advice for those who are looking for waiver wire bargains every week.

John is currently living in 1995, listening to some Coolio and debating getting internet access, so I have to post his roster and rationalizations for his picks,


Hey, So Ive got my lineup set…here is the Cheap B@$st@rd$ Week 2 lineup

QB - Tavaris Jackson MIN $7.55 (at Detriot, need I say more?)
RB - Brandon Jackson GB $5.17 (against the Giants who last week got crushed by the 'Boys. There also arent many feature backs in his price range)

RB - Marcell Shipp ARI $5.41 (I really struggled with this spot, 5.40 is a good price for a legit #2 back, also in that price range were Michael Turner (going against the Pats) and his counterpart across the sidelines this week Mo Morris. Tie-breaker - He's from the U(Mass)

WR - Dwayne Jarrett CAR $4.66 (best bargain in wideouts…I might have to wait on his production because he is a rookie and playing on the same field as Steve Smith, and when he does have his break-out game he will immediately become too expensive, but that upside is tantalizing)

WR - Calvin Johson DET $6.26 (see above)
WR - Antwan Randle El WAS $6.65 (had a big week last week against the Miami with 162 yards in the receiving, plus he is a threat for some chicanery on trick plays)

TE - Bo Scaife TEN $5.90 (I'll be honest, I just like his name which has been endeared by my longstanding affinity towards the Dukes of Hazzard)

K - Mason Crosby GB $8.31 (he's a big boy and I'd really like to see his range with the NFL ball. Also, he reminds me of Hoss from another one of my favorite TVLand shows: Bonanza!)

DEF - NYJets $9.62 (tough call here, they got tooled on by the Pats last week and I think it does a disservice to the talent on this team. Also you have to love the match up against Baltimore who had 6 turnovers against Cinci last Monday Night.)"

I'll be posting my lineup tomorrow. I'll go ahead and state for the record now that I was planning on purchasing both Brandon Jackson and Calvin Johnson when I first thought of this league, so I'm not ripping him off. As evidence I submit exhibit A which should corroborate my fantasy football knowledge.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


Note to self, never ever, ever, ever mess with the Humane Society.